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Hello all, for all the friends that keep track of my current affairs, please see the new blog on MSN. Due to public demand, I have moved my blog over to MSN (apparently it's very popular now). To keep up with my current events, please see following link.
I am 25 years old now, what am I doing with my life?
I counted all the accomplishments that I had, I counted what accomplishments that I could have had, but what does that all mean? I am 25 years old, no boyfriend, still single, very ignorant still about relationships, despite the fact that I could analyze everyone else's problem, I could not analyze my own. What do I want? It's a very disturbing question, perhaps I am drunk, perhaps I am just being 25 years old. My mother tells me that I should find someone to settle down with, I know what I want, but does that mean I could have what I want?
All i want is a shoulder to rely on, someone to rely on, someone to feel that I belong to. Seeing all my roommates, knowing that there's someone there, gives me part of the comfort, but what about me sipirtually? I don't have anyone.
Past is past..... Let be gonners be begonners.
I know what I want in my career, but i want some one to be there and share with me my happiness, my sadness..... this weekend, I might have made some wrong decisions, but regardless, I am who I am.
But, what am I? I feel so disturbed and troubled, but why? Shouldn't I feel content that I know what I want for my career? Shouldn't I feel satiated because I do have someone if I want? But I guess not.... because I find myself crying when I am drunk.......
Why am I drunk..... is it because I am happy, or sad? I don't know, I don't know anymore what I want...... what is the goal in life? what is it?
People tell me time will tell, I guess I am waiting for that someone to sweep me off my feet.... but relationship is complicated, it's never simple.....
I want a simple life, I want a shoulder.............
Been to Hong Kong and back, got some funnies to share with all you guys. For those of you who know about my prior experience in Hong Kong, you would all know that I don't have much of a sense of direction, at least not in Hong Kong. I got lost couple times....=( My family moved from North Point to Tsung Kwan O, which I don't even have the slightest idea, where the heck it is on the map. The first couple days when I got there, I was adjusting my jet lag, so I pretty much stayed home and slept. Of course the result of that is gaining 10 pounds in 3 days. My parent's new place is on the 56th floor (yikes!), and it has a very nice club house and jogging area overlooking the sea. So since you need to take the bus to go out to the MTR then able to get back in town, I didn't leave the house, coz I don't know how to take the bus. Finally when I had to, I got lost........
It was nice seeing Hong Kong this time, I met up with many friends from old days (CCSC and Ratcliffe, and MSU), it was great seeing them. Before I used to think that I could never get used to this, I am such a country girl. This time it's a little different. I actually enjoyed the life there. I enjoy the busy city life during the day and early evening, and looking forward to going home and enjoy the facilities at home and of course the view. When I was in Hong Kong, you have to walk all the time. so I actually end up loosing that 10 pounds that I gained in the first few days (from eating and sleeping). Actually coming home with even more fit body. Hehehe, a big plus.....
I miss my parents a lot, but I don't think I could live with them. Maybe I will just buy an apartment close to them when I come home, so I can still go home to eat, but do everything else by myself, perhaps even finding a roommate.
My visit in Hong Kong made couple imapct on me, first of all, I decided to break up with my current boyfriend, because I finally know that he is not right for me, and there's no point of forcing a relationship. Secondly, I have decided to pursue a CFO or FC position in the next10 years. Will be starting in the investment banking industry first. I also gave myself couple deadlines
1, Finish MBA by summer of 2006
2, Finish CFA by end of 2007
3, Leave Lansing by the end of 2006
4, Goal is to find a job in HK with CFO related title before I turn 35.
Big hopes big hopes......
I think I will succeed, afterall, you gotta have a plan to start with (a reasonable goal and milestones), this is my plan...... getting married will just have to wait ^_^, or maybe it will come in between, but hopefully it won't interfere with my plans.
To all you friends that I haven't been in contact for a while, I just wanna say "HI", how are you guys doing? Drop me a line when you get a chance.
This is probably the most fulfilling weekend of my life. Not only that I have done 4 different types of sports, but also ate a lot of food. My feelings? I wanna cry coz I gained 5 pounds over the weekend.....T_T My best buddy came over and we played tennis, golf, pool and rollerblade in two days. Trust me, my body is still hurting. We ate hot pot twice (the super spicy all chilli ones), of course my tummy hurt me twice. But it was so good, even if I don't feel good, I still ate a lot. My proof is my weight gain. I guess it's back to the gym to work out and get rid of the pounds that I gained and more. My goal is to be around 125 when I go home. I know, I know for those of you in Hong Kong, you must be thinking "What the #$%?, she needs to be around 115. Well, all I can say is that, I am not fat I am just big boned..... hehehe ^_^ Just kidding! I know that I am fat, oh well, I probably look better a little chubbier, I can never see myself skinny to the point of bones and skin. My hair is getting so long, therefore my first goal of going home is to get a hair cut first. To look younger again. Hahaha! 16 days to go, yeah! Will post pictures when I get there. ^_^
Finally finished up the whole episode, pretty much for the last two episodes, I cried my eyes out.
Still sick, and coughing, hopefully I will get better before I go home, 22 more days to go.
I recently saw episode 1-5 of Deep Love (ayu's story). It was truly enriching, not only the questions are the ones that we forgot to ask ourselves, but also make us think. The questions that we debate on is "What is happiness?" "Do we all have to be happy?". Another great statement is "Death is the end of everything." And I quote my friend's comment "Before you make something into a finished product, write it out. If people like what you write, they will definitely come and ask you to put it into other media." That is such a truthful comment. Everything sprout from our head and communicated through our hands. Writing a story, painting a picture, once we created something, then we can put them into more detail through another media. It is so amazing that the origin of Deep Love is from SMS messages, how it sprout from short text messages to a book, movie and even short episodes. Yoshi, you really make us think. Definitely getting this from Hong Kong when I go home.
27 more days to go......
Sorry that I haven't been keeping everyone in touch. I have been over-run by work and sickness. Couldn't stop coughing....=(
Work has never gotten so busy like this month, I feel very overwhelmed. Plus lots of company politics that is adding to my stress. My only comfort is the fact that I am going home on 9/23, so happy!
Today all of a sudden, started to wonder where is my home? Everyone has someone. Delphine has Michael, Winnie has Mike, Ken has Michelle, even Arthur seems to have someone or something. Where is home for me? Where is the warth of home? What happened to the warth that I once had? I guess everyone has some depressing time, including the usually cheerful me. I guess tonight is my down night. Suddenly I started to wonder why am I here? What is the green card for? A career? Where I come home to nothing? I do have the companion of my babies, but besides that, what do I have? Listening to some old CD, remembering some things I forgot. More than one year now..... does it still hurt? I guess tonight my emotions shows.... Perhaps I have been hiding it for too long. For once, I feel tired. Tired of my ambition, tired of my eternal never-ending quest for love and the feeling of home. What happened to what I once had? I start questioning myself.... perhaps my fault. Can't help but wonder if he is happy? Does he have the same feeling when he listen to those CDs? Does he think of me also? Is love just some glorified feeling of home? I miss home..... Would I get that feeling back when I go home? Home.... is that even my home? The home that I have here is merely a shell..... A quest for the meaning of home..... Is my ambition killing the feeling of home? Should I have made something different then? Am I truely happier without him? 没了你, 失去後才知道要珍惜. Does he think the same?
終於明白你已變成回憶
沒有言語能夠說明當別人問起
譜了一段旋律沒有句點 也無法再繼續
像埋伏在街頭的某種氣息
無意間經過把往日笑與淚勾起
忽然心痛的無法再壓抑 原來從未忘記
Melody 腦海中的旋律轉個不停
愛過你 有太多話忘了要告訴你
Melody 無數動人音符在我生命
愛過你 失去你我才知道要珍惜
當時無法為你寫的那首歌
卻是我永遠的遺憾 當愛逝去
如果所有的錯重來一次 能否改變結局
終於落下休止符的那首歌
我聽著每一個音符流過的回憶
為什麼在那麼多年以後 還不能說再見
Melody 腦海中的旋律如此熟悉
愛過你 在我心裡只能輕輕嘆息
Melody 無數動人音符在我生命
愛過你 失去你我才知道要珍惜
Melody oh Melody 我永遠不能忘記
你是多麼的美麗 讓這音樂一直不停響起
Melody oh Melody 我捨不得去忘記
我們快樂的過去 請別讓我從這夢境清醒
Melody 腦海中的旋律如此熟悉 愛著你
求你聽我唱完這一段旋律 請不要離去
Hahaha, so happy get to eat BBQ Lamb again. Although it really is a winter food, but it tastes so good, who cares when we should be eating it. Got to see some friends that I haven't seen for a while, very very pleasant. Did get a bad headache probably from breathing in the smoke, had to go to bed early and couldn't continue with the party. That is so not like me! I didn't even drink a lot either..... (now you guys will probably wonder "what have you done with Lily?")
This summer is a watermelon fest, had watermelons almost every single week. My roommate is also a watermelon fan, but comparing against me, I am a super watermelon fan. However, this weekend when I saw my friend, Delphine, I finally met my match for eating watermelon. I have never seen anyone that can clean (notice clean not eat) watermelons like that.
Delphine also inspired me to start running. So now I will start training myself to run, hopefully I will be able to run marathon with Dave next summer. A goal for me! hee hee! Progress is, so far I ran about 3 miles (of course with stops in between) in about 32 minutes, not bad huh?
Perhaps my eating during the weekend was not proper, or that I just ate something bad, got sick on Monday. I stayed home for the most part, felt better in the afternoon, so went out to jog again.
Today my desk is piled with work, I am so swamped.....arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Today is a sunny day, I so want to get out of work early. But I can't =(.
Tonight I will be going swimming with my roommate, yeah! Haven't swimmed for so long, it's going to be nice.
Lucky had hair trimmed, looking young again. She has been pretty slow with climbing stairs, and hardly ever sleep with me upstairs again. Even though I encouraged her to come up, she really didn't seemed to want to go up, so I just let it be. Sometimes I will sleep on the sofa just to be with her. I hope that day will never come. Poor poor Lucky......
One of my co-worker will be leaving this Friay, so sad....... I really like her, now I have to suffer this miserable work day without her. Life really sucks sometime.
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